What Does a Dog Need?
When Stress Overwhelms, Dogs Remind Us There's Much More to Focus On
Are you busy? Stressed out? Coping with the pandemic and all the conflicts great and small that have come with it? Are you tired? Is a loved one sick or dying or just died? Is a relationship giving you problems? Have you doom scrolled just a little more than you need? Is your job changing or are you needing a job? Have you just had it with everything?
Luckily your dog doesn't know all the details of your struggles. Dogs exist in our worlds without knowing what has triggered our stresses…but they do feel our stress. We don't have to tell them our problems because they can feel when their guardians are unmoored internally.
During trying times, many dog guardians reach for their canines for comfort. Our pets are often warm, soft, and furry. And unlike people, they never give out unhelpful advice. They receive our pain and even our tears at times. Dogs can, at just the right moment, save us from ourselves and be a blessing to others who are hurting.
The question we sometimes forget to ask when life gets tough is: What does my dog need?
When we are overwhelmed and reach for our dogs for consolation, we may not always realize that what they need is different from what we need.
Stress and anxiety in humans, to dogs, reads as weak and unstable energy. The more we use them for our emotional woes, the more likely we are to ignore their needs. Not all dogs want to be hugged or held anytime we decide we want affection from them. When they look into our eyes as we cry, it doesn't always mean they understand. Sometimes that stare actually means, “get off the couch and take me for a walk already.”
Our dogs are our companions, not our therapists. When challenges in life come upon us, it's extra important to practice healthy boundaries with our dogs. Just because we hurt doesn't mean we stop taking time for the essentials of dog care.
Daily walks with our canines helps get us out of the house and out of our heads. Staying consistent with training demonstrates that even under pressure, your dogs can trust you no matter what is going on in the world. Playing brain games with our dogs lifts our spirits and helps them stay mentally active, which can be just important as physical activity. A favorite destress activity in our house is dancing with our dog. She just loves Kool & the Gang.
Having to stay in the moment and attuned to our needs in relation to our dogs needs can keep us from going into dark places that only serve to keep us stuck in the past. Our dogs help us stay on track with the work of daily living. They teach us to move on from pain and move forward with what is possible.
When stress, pain, and trauma arrive at the door of our hearts, we can be grateful for our dogs. For they keep us focused on the present and help us transcend wallowing in sadness. When we are the most needy is one of the best times to ask: What does my dog need?